Inspired.

Lascaux CavesThere was a time in my old myspace blog - yearly, I'd write a long summation of me for new friends and people just curious as to "who" I am. The specifics on who I am is debatable. I'm not even sure at most times and get lost in the societal configuration of a role I've been forced to play for survival. I'm doubtful, insecure in my self condemnation and knowingly obnoxious about my vagina.

So- being inspired by a vintage act of a friend, here is my yearly.



Who I think you think I am : A bitch - a smart, mean spirited one.

Mostly truthful - the clincher though is you're an ignorant one who works diligently to hide behind smiles, and fake sentiments. I allow this because on a deep, mysterious level it makes me feel like an infant wrapped in a  warm, tight blanket. It pacifies me. It has long been understood by me that people who have the most to hide will put on the most grand of shows. They're the ones who work to extrodinary means to hide themselves. Surround themselves with friends, church and various support systems to maintain a well created costume of kindness. It's a morality fence... an ethics sticky note for them. It keeps people from doing things they'd otherwise do if no one was watching, or cared. The power of group conformity for those who'd do horrible unspeakable acts if given free reign has great protections... as long as diverse. If it lacks diversity then it has potential for atrocity that is worthy of a cave drawing, and writing on papyrus ... :)

Religion is a good example.

Moving on:

I'm mentally debilitating; verbally rude; challenging to authority. I'm slowly developing into an anarchist of sorts. Maybe. I suppose I've always been a quasi -anarchist- of- sort, some friends have pointed that out for well over 20 years. I dismiss this - I will label myself, so fuck you, you can't. Currently my labels are blank due to fluctuation in my views. 

I'm also called a neopragmatist, a critical realist, critical naturalist and several others from time to time. Depends on the subject in which we discuss ... I'm anti-religion, anti-theist and what's called a firebrand atheist - I will confront or heckle you for believing in magic and the extreme absurdity of deity worship in modern times ... You cave crawlers with archaic beliefs are destroying the world one nation at a time ... So are the liberal radicals.. Making everything so politically correct that thought has become a crime and any word which could cause slight discomfort being banned; any food that gives the liberal vegans and like a pinch in their food moralistic asses will also be banned, as well as anything they determine to be unhealthy ... all for the greater good of man, of course.

I'm slightly harsh :)

I'm overly passionate- if there can be such a thing, to a starving child or person. I understand - while not understanding, why starvation exists in a world with an abundance of food and wealth. I understand - while not understanding, why war still exists. Why healthcare has to cost - shouldn't life be held to a higher regard? I think so - apparently others think money - a created currency, worth more. No one operates on life possessing intrinsic value ... it's all external to them. Time is measured by this currency as well - not by the acts of an empathetic people.

Sociopaths.


I think - a lot.

I'm poetic. I'll write cryptic thoughts - often clouded by my own emotions, which may or may not be justified.

I'll say I've grown and no longer "hate" a certain ex - that's a lie. I fucking "hate" that bastard. Still. If I ever go rogue serial killer - I'd take him out first. But even that's a lie.